Defense of Marriage Act & The Supreme Court

It surprises me as a person over 50 (and I'm not saying how much over 50 I am), how differently I think now than I did in my younger days. I'm less of a risk taker now. Some of  my thoughts are much more conservative than they used to be and some are way more liberal. I question things more, and I no longer accept what I've been taught or have always known. I find myself questioning things and drawing my own conclusions and opinions. Some of my thoughts would make my poor Grandma gasp in shock and I often wonder if I make her roll over in her grave! My Grandma Carrier couldn't even say the word "pregnant", in front of children or men-folk, it was referred to as someone being "p.g.". 

The Supreme Court ruling today makes me give deep consideration to all I've been taught about the whole gay thing. I was taught that it was wrong, that it wasn't natural, it was in violation of God's will, that is was a choice to be gay, and all gays should be shunned.I grew up never knowing an openly gay person. It was adulthood that opened my eyes. It is my belief that what goes on in the bedroom is personal and private and none of the business of anyone outside of that bedroom. I don't discuss my sex life with anyone and am not comfortable when others openly discuss theirs. It was many years ago, when I had to take a long, hard, honest look at the topic of people being gay. I HAD to, I had become friends with some wonderful people who were gay. 

Looking at what I was taught...

1. Being Gay is wrong. My thought about this is why? Before I cast a stone at someone else's perceived "wrongness", I should take an honest look at my own life. I was taught it was wrong to have sex outside of marriage. Well, I failed in that department. I was taught it was wrong to live with someone of the opposite sex and not be married to them. Another fail in my life. I lived with the same man for 20 years before we finally wed. In my youth, I dated some real losers. Men who were very bad for me. I learned from the doctors that I could not have children. I always believed that if I ever had a relationship with a good man, no matter what the doctors said, God would give me 1 child. That child would be a boy. A wonderful boy with blond hair, blue eyes, and freckles. 14 1/2 months after my future husband and I started living together, God did bless us with a son. A wonderful son, who as a child had blond hair, blue eyes, and freckles. If it was so "wrong" for me to be with the man of my dreams, why did God bless us with the child I was supposed to not be able to have? If it was "wrong", should I have been banned from working where I wanted to work, living where I wanted to live, etc.? NO!!! It always bugged me that my future husband could not claim me as a dependent. He has always supported me and taken care of me. He has been a good provider. In other states, I would have been his common law wife, and I would have been able to be claimed on his taxes, and in some states, I could have gotten benefits as his wife. Being as my state does not recognize a common law wife, the federal government did not, either. So, he could not claim me as his wife on his federal returns as a dependent. Makes me relate to gay couples, who can be recognized as a married couple some places, but not others. To me, that is wrong, and it certainly is not fair!

2. It's not "natural" to be gay. Say what? What is not natural about being attracted to someone? What is not natural about loving someone with your heart and sole? What is not natural about wanting to be with your special someone forever? If being "gay" is not natural, how do you explain same sex couples in the animal kingdom? Never heard of that? There was an interesting article in the New York Times a couple of years ago, called Can Animals Be Gay? I understand the need to have opposite sex couples to have offspring and continue a species, but that doesn't mean it's the only type of situation that is "natural" or "right". What about people who choose NOT to have offspring, or can't have offspring, or adopt, or use artificial means to get pregnant, or use a surrogate mother, or a sperm donor? Is that not "natural" or "right"?

3. Being "gay" is a violation of God's will. Hmmmmmmmm see #2 above. If you believe in God, and you believe that all things on earth are created by God, and if animals don't make choices or have thought processes like people do, then how do you explain same sex couples in the animal kingdom? Even if you still can't get past the "God" thing, then weren't you also taught that God is the judge of all mankind, and it is not our place to judge our fellow mankind? We are too lowly a creature to try to do God's job and must leave the judgement day up to God. 

4. It is a choice to be gay. OK, let's take a logical look at this. If you are not gay, can you tell me what day in your life you made the choice to not be gay? Or are you just who you are and you're attracted to people of the opposite sex? If you are gay, can you tell me what day you decided to face a life of being cast aside as an outsider, to face judgment and discrimination every where you go and be attracted to people of the same sex? I'm betting most people in the world can not answer the question that pertains to them. Now that I'm old enough to draw my own conclusions, I don't think it is a choice. It is just being who you were born to be.

I am an American. I value the rights and freedoms that are guaranteed to all Americans. If I am a thief, an abuser, or a murderer, I am hurting others and I deserve to have my rights and freedoms taken away. But if I am an everyday citizen, obeying the laws and hurting no one, it does not matter if I am black or white, rich or poor, walking or in a wheel chair, I have rights and freedoms that are guaranteed to me. Why should that be any different for gay people? 

I have one final thought on this subject, and that is the example we set for others and what we are teaching our children. Times change. There are many people in our country that now have the rights and freedoms that at one time, only able bodied white men had. It is because we have grown as a people. We do not have to hold on to the prejudices that our ancestors held on to. We know better. We should be proud of that. Even if you know it's true that ALL people should have the same rights and freedoms as any other citizen in our country, if you find yourself uncomfortable around someone who is different than you, be conscious of how you react and what you say. Help the youth of our country be even better than what we are! I work at a group home. All of the residents are adult women with some form of disability. I am also female. One day, I took one of our residents to Walmart. This resident will take off and walk around and not watch for cars. I had her hold my hand as we made our way into the store, to keep her close to me and keep her safe. Coming out of the store was a mother with a little boy who was probably about 6 or 7 years old. As we walked by, the boy asked his mom "Are those ladies gay? They are holding hands." How sad that a child so young would even have to worry about such a thing! Children learn what they live........

To my dear departed Grandma, I know that what I now know and believe is not what you knew or believed, but I hope now that you are in heaven, you know God loves all His children, and it didn't matter if they were straight or gay, what mattered is how good of a person they were. And now I hope you're OK with what ever the truth is about your brother Carl. Send me a sign, I really want to know the rest of the story, and not just have to remember the little whispers I over heard as a teenager.

Veterans & Archives, My Letter to Governor Deal

10 October 2012

Governor Nathan Deal
Suite 203, State Capitol
206 Washington Street
Atlanta GA 30334

Dear  Governor Deal,

I have the deepest respect for anyone who puts on a uniform and is prepared to defend the rights and freedoms of the citizens of this great nation of ours. Your Georgian roots run deep, and you have a long history of service to your state and your country, via the military, the judicial system, and your long political career. You’ve been one of the lucky ones to live the American dream. An education, a beautiful family, and a fulfilling career have all found their way on to the timeline of your life.

Unfortunately, many of the men and women who place an American uniform on their backs do not end up living the American dream, their lives turn into the American nightmare. Veterans make up 11% of the adult population in our country and 25% of the homeless population. Many homeless veterans die alone and forgotten, and don’t receive the honor and military burial that they deserve. All too often their families never know what happened to them.

Across America the forgotten cremated remains of our veterans are sitting on the storage shelves of funeral homes. Some of them have been there for decades. Veterans organizations such as the Missing In America Project are researching the unclaimed cremains of funeral homes, identifying which ones are veterans and arranging military burials for them. Forensic genealogists at organizations such as Families For Forgotten Heroes go to work and identify the living next of kin of these veterans to notify them of the death and burial of their hero. The story of a veteran's life is not complete until they have received their military burial and their families have been found.

Deceased homeless veterans also end up in the morgues of Coroners and Medical Examiners. The issue of the unclaimed dead (civilian and veteran) is experiencing increasing numbers. This has caused a huge burden on tax payer dollars, as counties must take over the responsibility of the expense of burial when families can’t be found. A group of volunteer forensic genealogists at Unclaimed Persons assist coroners and medical examiners with finding the next of kin of unclaimed deceased people, so that families can be notified and make arrangements for the burial of their loved one.

Forensic Genealogists also assist JPAC - Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command, with their mission of accounting for Americans lost during past U.S. conflicts. When the remains of our missing American heroes are found, the remains are sent to the JPAC lab in Hawaii. Forensic Genealogists assist JPAC by identifying living next of kin of these heroes, so that DNA samples may be taken to match families with the remains. It’s a very emotional experience, to see a widow or a child of our military from past conflicts finally receive the closure they have longed for!

Forensic Genealogists can not do the work they do without access to records and documents. I have been following the story of the closing of the Georgia State Archives with great interest. The closing of those archives will inhibit the ability to find the families of the above mentioned veterans, when they or their families have ties to Georgia.

On behalf of those veterans, I implore you to find the means to keep the Georgia State Archives open to the public for the rest of this year, and in January work with the leaders of your state to find additional funding to return the archives to being open at least 5 days per week.

Nathan Deal

Look into the eyes of yourself, the soldier from a few years ago. One nasty twist of fate, could have turned your life from the American Dream to the American Nightmare. You could have ended up as one of those unclaimed, unhonored, forgotten heroes. PLEASE help us keep access to the treasures in your state archives, so that forensic genealogists can continue their work to return each and every soldier of our country to their families!

Sincerely Yours,

Kim “Skip” Murray
Genealogy Team Leader (Retired), Research Volunteer - Families For Forgotten Heroes
Co-Director (Retired), Research Volunteer - Unclaimed Persons
8807 Gwynn Lane
Brainerd, MN 56401

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To those of you who are checking out my blog, if you wish to help in the efforts to save public access to the Georgia Archives, here are some resources you might find helpful:

Friends of Georgia Archives & History

Georgians Against Closing State Archives

Petition to save the archives

Occupy Genealogy

Need ideas on how to write a letter? Check out these examples!

What I'd Love for my Birthday!

My Birthday wish list………..

A hug from my Granddaughter, hubby, and son.

CAKE!

My genealogy friends to send a letter to or call the governor of Georgia (cc the Secretary of State) and tell them why the state archives should remain open.

RPAC, FGS, AGP, NGS, GAGP, ICAPgen, BCG, NIGS, CAFG, etc. to submit letters to the governor of Georgia (cc the Secretary of State) and tell them why the state archives should remain open. List of letter writers would include any genealogy / lineage societies, associations, or organizations. Hopefully, a portion of this wish is already done and I just don’t know about the letters. 

 A job. Would be nice to find full time with benefits at a place where I can put a smile on peoples’ faces, help others, make the world a better place. A job where I can be helpful and useful. Any job will do, but a rewarding job would be awesome!!!!

One last wish….and that’s for anyone reading this to do a Random Act of Kindness on Oct. 3. Be nice to someone, make their day better. It is as easy as sharing a smile, a hug, or opening the door for someone. Pay for someone’s coffee, donate to the food shelf, help a family with a sick child, the options are endless when it comes to being kind to others.

Thank-you for being a part of my day!

Skip

Do We Have A Voice?

I am spending a busy day searching for blog posts about the Georgia Archives, the SSDI, and other records access issues that are of interest to the genealogy community. I came across this post Some good news for Georgia State Archives, but bad news (that’s not really news) in a larger sense and a comment by Steve Ammidown hit me in the gut with a large boulder. He said...

"Let me start by saying that I’m a first semester student in archives, and a newbie to SAA, so I’m sure these conversations have been had before.

Coming from an activist and non-profit background, I was surprised to learn that SAA does not include a 501(c)(4) component, and that there wasn’t generally a lot of organized advocacy around archives on a national level. Changing this seems like it should be a top priority for the community. But how do we sell it? How do we push a normally reticent profession out of the shadows?

There’s one clear answer- it’s about our jobs. Nobody is going to stand up for archivists, be they professionals or students, if we don’t stand up for ourselves. The recent discussion on the SNAP listserv about hiring data for new archivists got me thinking about this. While data is great and useful and essential, it is no substitute for raising our voices. Waiting for the people of Georgia or any other state to recognize the power and necessity of archives is only going to lead to more layoffs, or more jobs going unfilled when others retire.

Since all this Georgia stuff has started, I’ve found lots of great archivists rabblerousing for the profession through Twitter and Tumblr and other sources, and that fills me with hope. But without organization, and lobby days, and talking points, these will continue to be voices in the wilderness, and we will end up reacting to a crisis like Georgia instead of heading it off.

As I said, forgive me if I’m sounding a bit naive here. But I’ve really come to love the archives profession, and I see a place for it in the future, no matter how digital the world becomes. I just want to make sure that we can see that through."

Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder if anyone else is hearing bells? If you replace all the references above from archive / archivists to genealogy / genealogists, do you feel that maybe our community is also  "a normally reticent profession"? We have some cells out in our community that do an excellent job of making their members aware of legislative issues and giving people suggestions on how to take action. The MGC Sentinel is a fantastic example, and there are others. But have we as a community formed ourselves into a well oiled advocacy machine that functions efficiently on a national / international level? Is there anything in our community that fills the "fearless leader" shoes? Are we a team? Do we need to be? Do we want to be?

Judy G. Russell, our beloved Legal Genealogist wrote a post a while back about the SSDI where she encouraged us to get off our duffs. I'm thinking it was very good advice, and maybe all of us as a community should take it.

Our Tree Became A Forest: Am I In The Dark Or Are Genealogy Societies MIA?

Our Tree Became A Forest: Am I In The Dark Or Are Genealogy Societies MIA?

Am I In The Dark Or Are Genealogy Societies MIA? ~ Georgia Archives

I have to be honest with you.... every time I hear of the genealogy community losing access to records, my undies get in a huge bunch. I get riled! I believe in freedom of information. It seems in politics, one of 2 things happen - bills get passed when politicians make deals with each other to vote for each others bills, or the people of this country get fed up, turn into squeaky wheels, and demand their voices be heard. I think each time we are at risk of losing a resource, we need to make a deal to speak up for our whole community, even if that particular resource is one you think you'd never use. Only by putting together large enough numbers and making enough noise, will we succeed in keeping access to records.

By now thousands of us in genealogy land have heard the sad news that the Georgia State Archives will no longer have hours where they are open to the public. In a press release issued September 13th, the reason for the closing was given as a need to abide by a budget cut ordered by the governor of Georgia. There are many reasons why the closing of the archives is wrong, and it's not just because it affects our ability as genealogists to do our work. Those archives are used by citizens to monitor their government, it is used by attorneys, historians, teachers, students, journalists, writers, and movie producers. It boosts the economy of the area it is in.

It has been 11 days since the announcement of the archives closing. I am very impressed by the outpouring of support, and the indignant outcry by people from several vocations. Individuals (not just genealogists) have spread the word, signed the petition, and written letters. It is my hope that RPAC, the group that represents the genealogy community will soon have an action plan post and will submit a letter to the Governor and Secretary of State of Georgia. While genealogists wait for RPAC to have time to do so, the Friends of Georgia Archives and History are doing a great job with updates.

Honestly, it is my hope that HUNDREDS of genealogy societies and lineage organizations will submit letters to the powers that be of Georgia. There are several other organizations who have moved quickly and already have their letters submitted. They are very professional letters from some very impressive organizations. A few that I am aware of are: Society of American Archivists, American Historical Association, National Coalition for History (representing American Association for State & Local History, American Historical Association, Association for Documentary Editing,
Association of Centers for the Study of Congress, Council of State Archivists, History Associates, Inc., National Council on Public History, Organization of American Historians, Southern Historical Association, Society for Military History, Society of American Archivists), American Institute for Conservation of Historic and Artistic Works, and GAIT, GLA, and GLMA. It concerns me that NO genealogy societies are part of this list, and I hope it's because I'm just not aware of them!!!

People from around the world have signed the PETITION to save the archives. If you haven't done so yet, I hope you will add your name to the over 15,000 supporters who have signed it so far. And then, I hope you help spread the word by using e-mail and all your favorite social media sites. If you're a blogger, we'd all love to see what you have to say. The most important thing you can do is send a good old fashioned letter to the Governor and Secretary of State of Georgia. If you need examples of letters to give you ideas on how to write one, Occupy Genealogy has compiled a list of sample letters.

If you'd like to help fight to save the archives click here for a list of actions you can take. Everyone's voice is important, you don't have to be from Georgia!

Please show your support by liking the facebook page Georgians Against Closing the State Archives.


Whether your genealogy is a hobby, a profession, or a tool you use to give back to mankind, please speak up and let your voice be heard. If Georgia succeeds in taking the archives away from the public as an easy fix to a budget problem (even though they have money for a new stadium and to spend oodles of money on a well for a private resort owned by a contributor to the Governor), we can expect that other states will follow suit!!!!!

If you'd like to read more blogs with this theme, check out Tell 'em Tuesday where a list is being compiled of known blogs about this subject. I'm sure you could also use your favorite search engine to locate blogs that didn't get added to the list. This event is hosted by Genealogy Calendar of Events

 

Thriller Thursday - Clara Ober - Murder or Suicide? Part 2

Aug 8, 1895
Blue Earth Post
Faribault Co., MN, USA

Brother and Wife Visit Freund

On Sunday forenoon, a brother of Mr. Jacob FREUND, who is confined in the jail at this place on the charge of being implicated in the murder of Clara OBER, was visited by a brother whom he had not seen for ten years and also by his wife.

At first the deputy sheriff did not know whether to admit them, but Attorney CRAY being present they were admitted to talk to the prisoner.

When the brothers first met and greeted each other by shaking hands through the bars, Mr. FREUND said, "I suppose you did not expect ever to see me in such a place?" He replied that he did not and both were visibly affected
-- Mankato Review

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Aug. 8 1895
Blue Earth Post
Faribault Co., MN, USA

In an interview with the Mankato Review Jacob FREUND lays the charge of his arrest to the feeling between the saloon and anti-saloon element in Blue Earth City. The saloon question was not thought of in connection with the affair. Both the license and anti-license people were united in suspicioning his complicity with the death of Clara OBER, by reason of the long-continued circumstances that culminated on that fatal night, while not a few of both sides were in doubt as to which horn of the dilemma to choose - suicide or murder. The question of license or no-license for the present year was settled at the polls in April. What interests the entire community now is, was Clara OBER murdered, and if so, by whom? The people are asking, who but one could have any motive for the cruel deed, and did he do it? It is very shrewd in Jacob FREUND to attempt to gain the sympathy and partisanship of the local saloon or license party in his favor. That element would hang him just as quick as the other if there can be found evidence enough to convict him. If he is not guilty the no-license people would not hang him. But guilty or not guilty it is the united sentiment of the citizens of Blue Earth City, to speak ironically, that his usefulness here is ended.