Wedding Wednesday - The Tom Boy Becomes A Mrs.

I've been a tomboy most of my life. As a child, most of my friends were boys. Girls did boring stuff like play with Barbies. Boys did fun stuff like climb trees and play with cars. I spent my teenage years as "one of the guys". I could fix cars and ride motorcycles. Many girls hated me during those years, because I was with the guys more than them. Little did they know, that while they were going on dates, I very rarely was on a real date, because the guys never thought of me that way. They just had me hang out with them like any of the other guys.

When I finally got around to dating in my late teen's and early 20's, I turned into a loser magnet. If there was a bad guy out there to date, I found them. I don't know how my mother managed to survive those years! During those years, I found out I can't have children. Then I got in a really bad relationship that proved to be dangerous to my survival. To get in the last word, I took my boyfriends motorcycle and parked in the motorcycle parking lot at a police station, put pictures of my bruised body in an envelope with a letter saying this bike belonged to a woman beater. I packed my bags and disappeared. I moved to Pillager, MN and for a while lived with my grandparents at their lake place. I transferred from my waitress job at Perkins to the Brainerd Perkins and I started my life over. I ended up working 3 jobs at one time, and drinking way too much. And my pattern of choosing bad boys continued.

I made some really good friends amongst my customers and co-workers at Perkins. One of them was Cynthia. For the first time in my life, I really felt bonded to a female friend. She was so cool. I idolized her. She was beautiful with the most amazing eyes. She had her own style of dressing and she was such a free spirit. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind or tell anyone the truth. At that time in my life, the truth was what I needed to hear. She helped me come out of my shell and find myself. She made me feel like I was a good person.

One nice thing about my relationship with Cynthia is that we had total opposite taste in men, so there was never any competition between us over guys. We were never attracted to the same ones. I remember telling her about this dream that I had been having over and over. It was about this guy, and he made me very happy. He made me feel safe. He made me feel loved. In my dream, I ended up spending my life with him. Cynthia used to call him my "Fantasy Man" and she'd laugh and tell me I should look for a real man.

One night, Cynthia and I were having coffee at Perkins. We'd been out socializing and it was very late - more like early in the morning! I looked across the restaurant and almost had a heart attack! I became very excited and I told Cynthia that my Fantasy Man was there! There was a guy sitting a few booths down that looked just like the man in my dreams. She turned around and looked, and was appalled! She said "Oh yuck, that is Mark! I dated him once and went to a Charley Daniels concert. He kisses like a fish and all he can talk about is cars." I knew right then and there that if Cynthia didn't like him, he might be a match for me!

I told my friend, Brian, about Mark. Brian ended up getting a job where Mark works. On March 14, 1984 Brian and Mark came into Perkins for coffee when they got off work. When I was done working, Brian invited me to join them. We all talked for a while and then Brian went home. Mark and I sat there drinking coffee and talking until 6 a.m. We have been together ever since. I knew, he was the one for me.

Mark liked all the things I liked, motorcycles, hotrods, and racing. He had a dark side, a sadness you could see in his eyes. A distrust for anything that smacked of love. I learned he was married for the first time as a teenager. They had a beautiful little girl that died from SIDS. They divorced and Mark married again. This time to a lady who had 2 children. Mark and her had a daughter. He came home from work one day and his wife and kids were gone. He wife left him for another man. He made it very clear to me that he never wanted kids again and he would never marry again. People change the day you get married and he was never going through it again.

I was "safe" because I couldn't have kids. I told him I didn't care what the doctors said I told Mark I firmly believed that if I ever got my life together and ended up with the right man, God would give me 1 child. It would be a boy and he'd have blond hair, blue eyes, and freckles. In 1985, God blessed Mark and I with that boy. And yes, he had blond hair and blue eyes - the freckles didn't come until later. Our son is our only child. And I'm grateful for him everyday.

Mark held on to his idea of never marrying again. We lived together, we were happy together, and most people assumed we were married. After a few years, it started to make me very sad that we weren't married. One day, we were watching TV and they showed these people going through the drive-thru chapel on motorcycles getting married in Las Vegas. I bust out laughing! I told Mark if we ever get married, that is what we should do, it was so "us". He thought it was funny too.

Fast forward to 2004. Mark and I had now been together for 20 years. In October, Mark got us a very nice suite at a hotel with a big jacuzzi in the room. It was my birthday gift. It was so relaxing! We were sitting on the couch watching TV and I looked at him and noticed a tear rolling down his cheek. He was staring at me. All of a sudden, he took my hand and told me he needed to ask me something. He then asked me the oddest question........ He asked me if I'd go through the drive-thru with him. I was confused and my mind raced. Drive-thru? He doesn't like McDonald's, we don't use the drive-thru cleaners and we didn't have any prescriptions that could be picked up at the drive-thru pharmacy. Drive-thru? He just sat there and stared at me. OMG! A light went off in my head and I began to cry. "That Drive-thru?" I said. "YES, that Drive-thru!" he said. He was asking me to marry him!!!!! He told me to pick the date and we'd go to Vegas and get married.

Well, after waiting 20 years to be his wife, I wasn't going to wait around and give him time to change his mind! I knew there was an NHRA National Event drag race at the end of them month in Vegas, so I picked going there then. That way, we could go to the races on our honeymoon. We were married Oct. 26, 2004. It's kind of cool, because I celebrate 2 anniversaries every year. March 14, the anniversary of our 1st day together and Oct., 26, our wedding anniversary. At 21 years together, it was 1 year anniversary. Makes it very easy to keep track of the years. I have to let you in on a little secret, Mark remembers our wedding anniversary every year... well sort of. He has it in his head we married on the 27th. So he always wishes me Happy Anniversary on the 27th. I just let him remember it that way, at least he remembers! It's kinda funny, and I'm hoping all of you keep my secret!

In many ways, the way we got married was sad for family and friends. They couldn't be with us to share our special day. Mark hates being the center of attention, so I asked everyone not to through us a reception or party when we came home. I didn't want to start out with him going through something he didn't like. I know everyone was with us in spirit and I know everyone was happy for us.

Mark was right about people changing the day they get married. He has changed. He treats me even more like a queen than he did before we got married. He still kisses me everyday. He still has a glow in his eyes when he looks at me. He just seems like his love grows and changes everyday. I am happy. I feel loved.

If I ever lecture you and tell you that anything worth having is worth waiting for, I speak the truth. I waited 20 long years and ended up with the man of my dreams!

Tuesday's Tip - Get Involved!

It does not matter if today is the first day of your genealogy adventure, or if you've been researching for 50 years. There is always new tricks and skills to be learned. The best way to learn is to get involved with others in the genealogy community. Facebook is a great place to "meet" other genealogists. There are many interesting groups on facebook. They are full of people who will share your passion for what you do. You will make new friends, you'll find people with similar research interests, and you will find people you can help and others who can help you. You will learn of educational opportunities like conferences, webinars, and new books. I'm amazed at the wonderful friends I've made via our facebook relationships and have been blessed with fun and knowledgeable mentors that I never would have met if I hadn't have started to take advantage of Social Networking.

Being on facebook has led me to groups where I can learn to improve my research skills while helping mankind. My 2 favorites are Families For Forgotten Heroes and Unclaimed Persons. I've joined a group called Occupy Genealogy where I can learn of issues that might hinder my ability to do my genealogy research and what I can do about it. Facebook has given me the opportunity to learn about blogging and it was fun to join other bloggers who share the genealogy passion at Geneabloggers. You will find facebook pages for Genealogical Societies, Ethnic Group research, research in a geographic area, genealogy based on religions, the sky is the limit on facebook. Just use the search engine and a whole new world will open up to you!

I hope to see YOU on facebook! You can find me at my facebook page.

Amanuensis Monday - Ferdinand E. Eberlein - Feb. 18, 1863 - Civil War

Camp near Germantown
February 18, 1863
Dear Parents,

Today I received your esteemed letter dated the 4th of this month in good health, thank God. I received a very disturbing letter from brother Eduard on the 10th of this month saying that he volunteered to join the soldiers (this must be a mistake), that he left everything with strangers, which I don't like at all, people I don't know, but your letter made me feel better and gave me new courage. Your letters mean so much to me.

I sent Eduard 85 dollars for construction and to buy young farm animals; he does not say what he did with it and I wrote several letters to him with enclosures, but he does not answer. Could you please check on what is happening? Soon I will have that much money again, which I will send to you as soon as I have a chance.

I'm taking care of the three highest ranking officers in the company and receive something extra per month, I eat good food while we are in camp, and I don't have too many occasions to spend money here. I am glad that you gave me my brother Georg's address. I will write him a letter as soon as possible.

We are now in this camp the second week and I don't know when we will be leaving here. We will definitively go to Vicksburg where I might go see my brother. The first of this month I saw Martin Kiefer in German Town and Memphis. He is doing well. So far I have not been in a battle.

In December 1862 and January we went marching, over Christmas and New Year's. We had a hard time and came within one mile to the rebels, but they escaped from our path. We marched over battlefields were I saw the graves and blood on the earth, trees destroyed by bullets, dead horses on mass. And now while I am writing this letter I can hear the canons not far from here. I could write so much more but time does not allow it.

So I have to close this letter, wishing you all the best and hoping that this war will soon come to an end and that I will see you all again.

Your eternally devoted son,
Ferdinand E. Eberlein
Company C 5th Regt Minn, Vols
Memphis, Tennessee

I am awaiting an answer soon and good news. 

Sunday's Post is CANCELLED!

I promised myself that I would make an honest effort to post something everyday. Well, today's post is that today's post is cancelled. There is much work to be done and protecting the SSDI is way more important than improving my writing skills. Because if the government puts a nail in the genealogy coffin, it becomes pointless to work to become certified in this field.

Please, join us over at Occupy Genealogy and start educating yourself about these issues! And then, let the letter writing begin! This is one of those projects that needs your attention NOW. If you wait a few weeks to deal with it, you just might not have the SSDI to help you in your research.

Society Saturday - Save the SSDI

Please spread the word amongst the Genealogy Societies that you participate in that action is needed NOW for people to write to their Senators and Representatives that we need to protect our right to access the SSDI. Some misguided negative publicity has made certain Senators believe that they can end identity theft if we can no longer access the SSDI. This is WRONG WRONG WRONG.

We need everyone who has an interest in Genealogy - be it personal or professional, so take action! Don't leave this for somebody else. YOUR VOICE COUNTS! Send a letter, fax or e-mail to your Representatives and Senators. Put it on the facebook page or twitter page or google+ page of your Representatives and Senators.

This website will give you info about the Feb. 2, 2012 meeting with the Ways and Means Committee. Chairman Johnson Announces a Hearing on Social Security's Death Records . There is info towards the bottom of that press release on how to submit your letter to this committee.

The top right of this page will give you a search for your Senators and this one will give you a search for your Representatives .

I first learned of this when I read the article written by Megan Smolenyak Smolenyak Are We Going To Lose The SSDI?  Inside and outside of genealogy, the SSDI / MDF is a valuable tool that helps us do good things all over the world!

If you need ideas on what you could put in your letter, please check out Talking Points on Why Genealogists need the SSDI You might have to scroll down the page a ways to find it. Stay abreast of the latest developments by keeping an eye on RPAC's website and with the facebook group Occupy Genealogy and on the Occupy Genealogy Website .

To those of you who are members of Unclaimed Persons and Families For Forgotten Heroes  loosing the SSDI would be a major blow to the work we do.

Please, share this info via e-mail, facebook, twitter, google+, I don't care, even smoke signals. Just spread the word! You can copy anything from this blog post you want.

Family Recipe Friday - Sloppy Joes

I come from a long line of this and that kind of cooks. Many recipes don't have any measurements. Such is the case for these sloppy joes.

I've made these Sloppy Joes for picnics, pot lucks, showers and funerals. People usually really like them. When my son was young, he used to have a lot of fun waiting for someone to say they like them and then he'd tell them they had Diet Coke in them. He liked to watch the surprised look on people's faces!

Brown some hamburger. You can brown a veggie with it if you want (onions, peppers, celery). When the burger is good and brown, drain the fat and season the meat with something. (salt, pepper, maybe some BBQ spice or a little garlic powder). Add equal amounts of ketchup and some kind of diet pop (Coke, Pepsi, or Dr. Pepper, or even root beer - just make sure it's diet). Add one drop of mustard if you only cooked a pound of burger, more mustard if you cooked more. Open the bag of brown sugar and grab about a golf ball size of a clump and mix it in with everything else. Simmer until it's thick. Serve on buns.

Thriller Thursday - Clara Ober - Murder or Suicide?

 Clara Ober was the niece of my Gr. Great Grandma Anna Dorethea Lottine EBERLEIN
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Blue Earth Post
1 AUG 1895

Was It Suicide?

Miss Clara Ober's Body Found Floating in Blue Earth River Just Below the Old Dam - Great Excitement in Blue Earth City - Arrest of Jacob Fruend.

Blue Earth City is passing through the throes of one of the most exciting periods in its history. Tuesday morning it was found that Clara OBER had left her bed at the residence of her uncle, Henry EBERLEIN, on Fourth street, some time during the night or early morning and by a note found it was feared she had left with suicidal intent. The marshal and her relatives instituted a search which was kept up all forenoon but unavailing. After dinner the fire bell was sounded and, upon the assembling of our people, searching parties were formed and sent out in every direction. The first party to find her was to send word to the city engineer who was to sound three long fire whistles. In less than an hour the whistle was sounded. Her body had been found floating in the Blue Earth river just below the dam north of town. In the absence of a coroner, the body was taken in charge by CONINGS Brothers who conveyed it to their undertaking rooms. Coroner HUMES was sent for and it was found that he was absent in the East on a visit. His address was obtained and, in answer to a telegram, he appointed Dr. FRANKLIN deputy late Tuesday evening. Great Excitement prevailed upon our streets during the afternoon and evening. At about 10 o'clock Henry EBERLEIN swore out a warrant for the arrest of Jacob FREUND and he was locked up and the next morning taken to Mankato. During the evening an exciting crowd gathered in town and many threats were made, but cool judgment prevailed and nothing was done further than a few cases of lawlessness in breaking in the windows to Freund's saloon and restaurant. We advance no theories and refrain from comment because the coroner's jury is in session as we go to press, farther than to say that from the position in which the body is said to have been found in the water, the theory is advanced that death occurred before drowning, and the fact that a quilt which is missing from her bedroom and is supposed to have been taken by her as a wrapping instead of her apparel, none of which she took with her, cannot be found, is commented upon as pointing to outside parties, and perhaps foul play. Let us keep cool and allow the law take its course, and to that end we refrain, for the present, from publishing any of the circumstances that led up to the sad death.

The funeral will probably occur Thursday, but no details have yet been arranged.

The unfortunate mother of the dead girl has the deep sympathy of the entire community and bears up under this terrible affliction much better than was feared.

The following are the jurors summoned for the inquest: A. G. MAAS, David FREER, M. B. PARKER, Alex ANDERSON, Henry COLE, J. A. VAN SLYKE.

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(Capitalization of last names was done by me)
~ Skip